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Hey everyone! My name is James, known by the online pseudonym of ePastorJames. (Long story, got ordained online just because I could, married my friend to his left hand, crazy times.) This is my first time blogging for "Music Is the Door to Our Soul", but I'm excited to be a part of the blogging team and hope you'll welcome me to this community. I aim to be delightfully snarky and scathingly endearing. Let's see how that goes.

So tonight was the first live voting show of the brand new season/series. And apparently, there didn't seem to be a particular theme anywhere in sight! It was a particularly dreary snoozefest of a show, without any 'wow' moments to lavish praise upon. The mentors, however, did it anyway.

The Top 12 each sang for your votes, but two of these acts will be forced to face-off against one another in the Bottom 2 on the results show. The judges will then vote on which act to send home, and because they savor "buzz", you can expect controversy and drama galore! But for now, let us begin.

Recap and videos after the JUMP....
THE STEREO HOGZZ


"Rhythm Nation" (Janet Jackson)

Not bad. The routine was entertaining, the performance had great energy, and the vibe was a genuine concert feel. That being said, it felt more like America's Best Dance Crew as opposed to The X Factor. The lead singer's (Just'n) vocals were hoarse, especially at the end, and he's going to acquire throat nodules if that continues. I like them overall. They keep the show vibrant. But this performance didn't measure up to last week's "Try a Little Tenderness", which was, in my opinion, the best performance of that night.

~Scores~
C+
7/10

CHRIS RENÉ

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"Superstar" (Delaney & Bonnie And Friends; The Carpenters)

Believe it or not, I loved it! I thought it was a much smarter song choice than last week, for one. His vocals felt more at ease here. The singing was much stronger and more convincing. The breakdown/rap segment was fantastic, and the true highlight. Flames were a nice touch. All-in-all, I found the performance to be an authentic representation of him as a potential recording artist, and his refreshing sound/flavor shined through with this material. Really well done. My fave of the night.

~Scores~
A-
9/10

LEROY BELL

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"I'm Already There" (Lonestar)

Zzzzzzzzz. Horrid song choice. Just awful. But it could've been saved had the performance been at all up to par. Tragically, it was not. Although LeRoy's got the best pure voice in the competition, he rushed the music throughout the song. And when you take an already bland, dire song and attempt to speed through it, neglecting the melody, it botches the entire execution. Kudos to the pianist for keeping up! Really poor performance.

~Scores~
D+
5.5/10

RACHEL CROW

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"Walking On Sunshine" (Katrina And The Waves)

...Meh. Well, this was far less precocious and obnoxious than last week or her gag-tastic audition butchery of "Mercy". That being said, it was still just unspectacular in every sense of the word. Most interesting though is how Simon gave her what he personally considers his "least favorite song of all time". On top of that, he chose to have her sing the Gamu Nhengu rendition. (Gamu is infamous in the UK; sang this at her audition.) So, yeah, no.

~Scores~
D+
5.5/10

LAKODA RAYNE

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"Landslide" (Fleetwood Mac)

Most. Epically. Dull. Perform--zzzzzzzzzzzz. (This is going to be a redundant meme of tonight's recap.) First off, the singing = pleasant but bland. Second of all, the staging was pageanty nonsense. Thirdly, if you're going to create a concept like 'the four seasons' (Paula ♥, best mentor evah!), go ALL OUT. Winter (that's her name now) should have been decked out like the White Witch from The Chronicles of Narnia. Autumn should have been looking all Mother Nature. So all of this is just a whole big pile of useless.

~Scores~
D
5/10

JOSH KRAJCIK

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"Jar Of Hearts" (Christina Perri)

So boring. Good, but a complete snoozer. Is this Zombie theme night? The delivery was tepid, and his phrasing lacked much depth. Granted, with material like this middle school poetry drivel, it's hard to be too inspired. (Such an overrated song...and performance!) Nothing special whatsoever here, and for fuck's sake, give this guy something midtempo at least! This was essentially an encore of last week's performance. Blah.

~Scores~
C-
6/10

MELANIE AMARO

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"Desperado" (The Eagles)

At least this ballad had a little more pep in it. Arguably the best of the night, from a technical standpoint. She's got an amazing vocal instrument, for sure. That being said, it was so dreary. She proved at JH she has life in her, and let's stop squelching it already, Simon. (He sucks.) She did an okay job--not that interesting, per se. Sounded exactly as you'd expect a diva to sing it. Also, Slimon lied: "Desperado" was sung by Camile Velasco (if you call that singing) and Journey South (insomnia curers) previously.

~Scores~
B-
7.5/10

ASTRO

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"Hip-Hop Hooray" (Naughty By Nature)/"Get Ur Freak On" (Missy Elliot)

This was actually a step-up from last week, and I really enjoyed it! He's very talented within his own niche of "speed rapping", and has a penchant for feel-good hip-hop music. Unlike last week, the mash-up provided for a bit of originality. Not breaking the mold here, but a nice twist nonetheless. Most importantly though, people need to get out their ass regarding this being a "singing competition". It is not. It is an attempted search to locate recording artists to make Simon's wallet fatter. And rappers are recording artists, too. You...Rappists. Rapists?....

~Scores~
B+
8.5/10

InTENsity

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"Kids In America" (Kim Wilde)/"Party Rock Anthem" (LMFAO)

Interesting that despite Ellona usually being the standout of this group, it was Arin tonight who really impressed the most. His solo in the second half was great and the highlight of the performance. It was enjoyable fluff, for sure. They are my guilty pleasure, and for me, a bit of the anti-Glee, because they come without all the soap operatic baggage. Definitely some wonky harmony moments, but ya know, fun. And stuff.

~Scores~
C
6.5/10

DREW

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"Just A Dream" (Nelly)

Now, anyone who knows me knows I flove Drew. That being said, this was a bit of a hot mess performance. I really liked the slow beginning, because she has an incredible and distinct enough tone which shines through on the right melody. But then the bridge kicked in and it was a rollercoaster from there on out. Pitchy all over the place and not at all properly suited to her vocal abilities. I'd love something upbeat, but choose wisely, or it could go awry. Nevertheless, looking forward to her next outing.

~Scores~
C
6.5/10

MARCUS CANTY

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"Nothin' On You" (B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars)/"Every Little Step" (Bobby Brown)

I love this guy. I can't help it. He's like The Rubberman! It's awesome. He's also a pretty good singer, but his vocals can be compromised by excessive dancing. I'd love to see a more controlled, restrained performance, though not a dreary ballad like the first half of the night hailed upon us. Marcus is a class entertainer though, and put on a good show. I actually was hoping the entire song would be "Nothin' on You", as he sounded great on that. Alas, it was still working.

~Scores~
B
8/10

STACY FRANCIS


"Up To The Mountain (MLK Song)" (Patty Griffin)

Uh-oh! This was a moment for Our Goddess Crystal Bowersox on American Idol 9. That was a less-is-more performance, and a magical moment to conclude a hot tranny mess of a season. This performance from Stacy, however, abandoned subtlety in favor of churchy gospel bombast. Thing is, there have been pleasant gospel-type performances before on these singing competitions. But her voice is so harsh and shrill, it's rather unsettling to bear witness to. Not a fan of this week whatsoever.

~Scores~
C-
6/10

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RANKINGS:
  1. Chris René
  2. Astro
  3. Marcus Canty
  4. Melanie Amaro
  5. The Stereo Hogzz
  6. InTENsity
  7. Drew
  8. Josh Krajcik
  9. Stacy Francis
  10. Rachel Crow
  11. LeRoy Bell
  12. Lakoda Rayne
NOTE: Keep in mind, I base my rankings and grades purely off of various points of success within the performance, all correlating with how much I enjoy them individually. They are not ranked on technical vocals, nor on how good the contestants are regardless of their performances.

Results
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BOTTOM 2 PREDICTIONS:

LeRoy Bell vs. Lakoda Rayne

There are loads of possibilities, but these two just seem to make the most sense. Of course, prognostication is hardly an exact science. But based on Simon's criticisms of the girls' dresses (as opposed to focusing on their dreary-ass performance) or his condemnation of LeRoy's mentor, Nicole, it's practically written in the cue cards already. It isn't just due to the fact they were two of my least fave performances of the night. LeRoy could get a sympathy vote or Lakoda Rayne could have country pride guide them to safety. On the other hand, plain and simple, they were both boring and don't inspire one to make the effort to vote.

If I had to choose between the two, I'd prefer to save LeRoy. But my guess is he's toast. Still, a minor number of others could appear here, but you can almost guarantee they won't be eliminated this early. REMEMBER: The Bottom 2 each sing a song on the results show, because the premise is that the judges factor that into their decision. (Truth is: It hardly ever makes a difference.) But I wouldn't rule out the possibility of Chris, unfortunately, nor The Stereo Hogzz. Astro will eventually land here, too, and probably be saved against most others, depending on the acts in question.

I'd love to scrap Rachel ASAP, but unfortunately, I must suffer for weeks to come....
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